One Hundred Years
by Rebel Vale
Summary: She couldn't do it she couldn't kill him and that 'want'- to keep him alive had made Alina weak, just as the Darkling had told her it would. Alina had lost but would the Darkling spare her, had she spared Mal only to see him die at The Darkling's hand? Alternative ending to trilogy where Alina's is unable to take Mal's life. Written prior to publication of King of Scars.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note:**

 **I am assuming if you are looking at this you have already read the books if not you have been warned there are spoilers for the original trilogy in this work.**

 **So, I thought for the New Year I would challenge myself by writing in another 'universe' and another style. I love the Grisha Trilogy; read it all in the three days. I loved the ending and whilst I was rooting for the Darkling and Alina early in the trilogy as Mal's character developed I fell in love with him and was happy that he and Alina had their 'happy ever after'. Having said all that, I shed tears when Alina said the Darkling's given name as he lay on the pyre at the end of 'Ruin and Rising' and when I read 'The Demon in the Woods' I felt so sorry for The Darkling. So I wanted to give him a 'happy ever after' too. So here goes…**

* * *

 **Chapter one-In Good Faith**

The Brilliant Boy had not seen the Girl for one hundred years. One hundred years he had waited for her to finally realise the truth; that there was no escaping him and that they were meant to be together. He had had a long time to reflect. The Brilliant Boy regretted so much that he had done; the attack on Novokribirsk, the death of so many Grisha but it was done now. All the Brilliant Boy had been able to do was to atone for his wickedness and wait; wait for the Girl to come to him.

The beautiful raven haired boy had kept his vow; he had allowed the Girl to go free, allowed her surviving friends to walk away from the Shadow Fold, allowed her to take her Tracker with her. The Brilliant Boy had promised her she could live. Gifted her the natural lifespan of her lover and time with their children but he had insisted that when her lover's life came to an end the Girl must return; she must come back to him.

The Brilliant Boy had shown the Girl mercy because he was patient, he could wait. He had realised too late that the Girl was too young to understand what immortality meant. Too late he understood that she had to learn the loss and loneliness for herself. Only then would the Girl come to him as an equal. He had been impetuous, too eager to take what he believed was his, and he had not allowed her to grow; the Brilliant Boy realised he had been a fool.

The Brilliant Boy had learnt his lesson so he rebuilt Ravka, it flourished and was at peace. The Little Palace rang with the laugher of the Grisha who came to train with him. It had been hard for the Brilliant Boy to win back their trust but he had done it and now memories of his past, of his battles, his wrong doing and the events on The Fold had begun to fade. The Fold remained but the Brilliant Boy had shown restraint. He had never again tried to use it against his enemies. It had been an act of good faith to show the Girl that he was not a monster.

He knew what pain the Girl would suffer. He had wanted to destroy the Tracker, hating Oretsev for stealing the Girl's love but then he reasoned; _what was the life span of an_ _otkazat'sya? Mere decades._ The Brilliant Boy knew the Girl would suffer as she saw her lover age. She would be forced to move on constantly (just as he himself had been); away from the life she had lead, the friends she had made. It would be maybe a decade, perhaps a little more before it became obvious the Girl was not aging, she would reinvent herself become a younger bride, and then when she looked no older than her own children she would be forced move on once more and then the Girl would masquerade as a daughter, then a granddaughter and then finally her heart would break when she at last lost her love.

Then, when the Girl outlived all who she had loved, she would begin to understand what the Brilliant Boy had suffered. How he had never dared to allow anyone to touch him; how he could never bare to be close to anyone and how no one ever had or ever could love him. Finally she would see that the Girl had been his only hope. The Brilliant Boy knew she had rejected him made him into her villain and he had allowed her to do it. He had threatened to take from her everything she loved. The Brilliant Boy realised, almost too late, that he did not need to play the villain; _time_ would do his work for him in the end.

* * *

The Girl swallowed as she approached the Little Palace, the raven haired boy had kept faith with her, he had kept his word and some large part of her wondered if he might have changed. Ravka was peaceful, prosperous, the Brilliant Boy had become a dictator but he was a benevolent one. He had told her once… That she might make him a better man and the Girl wondered if she believed it now. She wondered if he might still achieve what Bahgra had hoped for him; redemption.

The Girl trembled with nerves as she mounted the steps before the Little Palace. She had arrived unannounced, _how ironic,_ _it would be_ , she though if she was refused entrance.

"Yes," the surly servant greeted her at the door.

"I wish to see the Darkling," The Girl announced.

The Servant almost scoffed as she eyed the peasant's clothing but clearly she had been well trained and the servant held back the sneer.

"And who am I to say wishes to see him?" she demanded wearily as if she expected to have to return to turn the Girl away.

"Alina Starkov," the Girl announced.

* * *

 **Author's note**

 **So I hope you worked it out that the Brilliant Boy is the Darkling. Beghra calls him … 'a brilliant talented boy.' I wanted to take a que from Leigh Bardugo's writing style. She refers to Mal as the Boy and Alina as the Girl- so Brilliant Boy was a means of differentiating the Darkling from Mal.**

 **Please review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two- Goddess of Light**

 **Alina**

I gave my name to the servant with more confidence than I felt. I knew the name would mean nothing to her. If I was spoken of at all these days it was as 'Sankta Alina' or the 'Sun Summoner'. My real name meant nothing anymore but he would know it.

I waited nervously wishing I had spent more time on my appearance. My blue _kefta_ had long since turned to dusted but I wished I had it now as I nervously smoothed down the white rough spun shirt I wore. The servant returned a somewhat surprised look on her face.

"Follow me," she beckoned.

She led me through the Great Hall; the Grisha gathered there barely gave me a second glance until we reach the doors that would take us to the War Room. Then I heard them, the curious whispers; _who is she?_ They asked. I smiled to myself I knew they would know soon enough.

The servant ushered me into the room. I stood, my chin raised defiantly, showing a confidence I did not feel.

"Alina," his dark velvet voice echoed from the shadows. I thought my legs might give way at the sound of it.

"Aleksander," I replied as he stepped from the shadows. I drew in a breath, I had forgotten how beautiful he was. A suddenly flicker of surprise crossed his face at the use of his given name but then it was gone and he recovered himself.

"You have returned at last," he responded quite matter of fact.

"I gave my word," I told him fully aware that I did not care what he did to me but that he had one promise yet to fulfil and I intended to see he kept his word.

* * *

 **Aleksander**

I had forgotten how beautiful she was, even with her storm white hair and in her peasant's clothes, she looked like the Goddess of Light. I sighed inwardly an old sense of longing twisted inside me.

"You must be tried?" I told her, "Your old rooms are being made ready for you. I would be honoured if you would join me for dinner after you have rested."

She merely nodded. I didn't know what I expected; at least she was merely taciturn rather than outright hostile.

"Marie will show you to your room," I realised belatedly that I was being dismissive, "when you are ready." I amended and watched as Alina's eyebrows rose but she merely replied;

"I am tired and would welcome a rest."

"Then I will show you to your room myself," I offered. A small smile tugged at her lips before she responded quietly,

"You forget, I know the way… but as you wish."

I escorted her from the War Room wondering how she might have changed, she was at least 118 years old, and whilst that made her a mere infant in comparison to myself I knew that she had to have gained in skill and wisdom and that I might need to be cautious around her. I had never considered that she might be a threat to me when she returned. _Fool_ , I scoffed to myself as I lead her through the back corridors to her room, _she has always been a threat to you._

I opened the door and handed her the key allowing her to enter the room ahead of me.

"I see little has changed," she said eyeing the black kefta laid out on the bed for her. I expected her to protest when she saw the garment but she merely gave a wry smile.

"Later," I commented as I withdrew from the room, she was lost in thought and did not reply. I wondered what recollections this room brought to her and if those recollections were happy ones?

* * *

 **Alina**

The room was as I had remembered it. The small hand mirror lay on the dressing table. _Genya,_ I recalled the beautiful Grisha tailor who had dressed my hair and made me feel beautiful. _Genya_ who had betrayed me to the Darkling only to save me at great personal cost, her beauty ruined for her treachery. I looked at the black kefta laid out for me. How she would have laughed with delight to see me in it. She always said the colour suited me. 'Like moonlight through darkness,' she had once said but I had always refused to wear the colour. Even when I buried Mal I could not bring myself to bow to the custom of wearing black. It scandalised my neighbours but I could not dishonour Mal by wearing his enemy's colours. Yet I would wear it now, I knew what it meant, I knew what reaction it would get. No one else wore the Darkling's colours but I would because I had an old debt I needed to pay.

I brushed my hand across the black silk that was shot through with gold. I had not held anything so fine in what seemed like many a life time. Mal and I had had a good life, but it was a simple life and we had shied away from luxury. The Lantsov emerald had been more than enough to set us up with a small estate and that estate had given us a generous income but I always avoided luxury never wishing to remind Mal that I might, had events unfolded differently, have been a Queen. Sighing at the memories I went to bathe.

I lay in the warm bath water for what seemed like hours absently summoning small beams of light and allowing them to play upon the ceiling. I was startled by a small knock upon the door.

"Lady," came a small nervous voice, "you must ready yourself." I groaned, _let the games begin_ I thought to myself, entirely uncertain of what _he_ would want from me.

A few moments later I emerged to find a scared looking girl waiting to dress me. She wore the Red of a _Corporalki_ and her rich red hair flowed in silken curls around her.

"Who are you?" I demanded,

"Marie, Lady," She told me trembling with fear, "I am to dress you."

I moved towards the dressing table considering the girl carefully.

"You are not a servant?" I asked her.

"No Lady but it is my honour to dress you as my grandmother once did," she told me with apparent reverence.

I took in the girl again, the red hair and the beautiful face, she had to be Genya's grandchild and she must therefore know who I was.

"Then you know who I am?" I questioned cautiously.

"Yes," she responded bowing her head,

"and you serve the Darkling?"

I found it difficult to comprehend that Genya's descendant would do this after what the Darkling had done to her grandmother.

"No," she said with a slight laugh, "he is my teacher, I do not serve him."

I looked at her puzzled but said no more allowing her instead to work a tailor's magic.

Finally, my face transformed and my hair twisted in an elaborate knot and held with gold pins, I donned the black silk kefta. It was with a pang of sorrow that I recalled the last time I had warn black, when the Darkling had kissed me and I had warmed to his embrace. _So long ago,_ I told myself shaking off the reverie, _a lifetime ago._

Finally ready, I descend to the Great Hall steeling myself for the inevitable response as I entered. The room stilled, preternaturally silent as the assembled Grisha took in the black _kefta_. This I had expected but when the Darkling rose to his feet bowed slightly and held out his hand I felt a sudden panic grip me. _What am I doing here?_ I demanded of myself as my subconscious told me to _run_.

"Sankta Alina," he held out his hand as the room collectively gasped. "Please," he notioned to the place beside him. I walked towards him like a sleep walker and, If I had not been stunned before, that one word, 'please', had shocked me to my core.

"You look very beautiful, as always," The Darkling complimented me as I took my seat beside him. I said nothing, I had never been at ease with compliments and I was more than wary of the Darkling's charm.

"Still taciturn I see?" he responded to my silence.

"What do you want of me _?"_ I finally replied.

"I think you already know," he replied quietly so we could not be overheard, "the question is what _do you_ want from me?"

"What do you mean?" I responded in surprise.

"You came here unbidden, Alina," he began, "oh, I know that we agreed this but I had, at the very least, expected to have to remind you of our agreement. Yet here you are! So, I repeat, what is it that you want Alina?"

I sighed, there was no point in prevarication, I had forgotten how shrewd he was, so I decided to just tell him.

"Our bargain is not complete and I have a promise to fulfil to a friend."

"Ah," he responded, "Lanstov."

"You promised," I reminded him, "you promised to remove the curse if…when I returned to you." I corrected myself. The Darkling sighed;

"Ravka cannot have two kings Alina," he said as if that wasn't entirely obvious.

"Then step aside," I snapped, my words were harsher than I intended.

"Not until Grisha can live in Ravka without fear, without danger, without persecution."

I looked at him incredulous, _was this what it had all been about?_

"You're afraid," I concluded, he glowered at me.

"When you have experienced the blind hatred that I had to bear you will understand." He ground out in a low hiss.

I did not reply, _you are afraid,_ I told him silently, _you were_ _always_ _afraid and fear made you cruel. What happened to you Aleksander Mosorov?_ I wondered.

* * *

 **Author's note**

 **Please review by way of encouragement.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3-Fairy tales**

 **Aleksander**

I had not meant to tell her that. I was not used to sharing, as I child I had vowed to build a world where Grisha were safe and I knew that I had achieved my aim but could I give up the throne? Would my legacy survive if I were to walk away? Or would there be a return to witch hunts and the burnings that had plagued my youth? Could I risk it to fulfil a promise?

It had been a hasty promise, a foolish pledge I had never intend to keep and it bemused me that I should even considered keeping my word now. _How could I?_ I considered and even if I did, after all this time, would Nikolai Lantsov even be sane? Alina had to see reason I would have to talk to her, perhaps more candidly than I had spoken to anyone in a long time.

* * *

 **Alina**

Over the next few days two things took me by surprise. The first; was the affection that the Grisha held for the Darkling, of course some had always admired him but when I trained at the Little Palace many more had feared him. The second surprise was the kindness, even reverence that the Grisha showed me. It was not merely my black kefta, the outward sign of my status, it was something else. I struggled to understand, I had tried to kill the Darkling more than once, I had been his greatest enemy and yet his people treated me with respected where I might have expected distain. In the end curiosity forced my hand,I had to ask.

As Marie arrived again to dress me for dinner I saw the opening I needed, a way to find out;

"Why do you not let a servant do this?" I began as she once again dressed my hair in an elaborate knot that she secured this time with small diamond tipped pins.

"It is a great honour to serve you lady." She told me as if her response was somehow rehearsed.

"But why?" I pressed, Marie looked somewhat bemused, "because you will be our Queen." I almost choked. Marie looked suddenly alarmed as if she had said something she ought not to. "I'm sorry, I ought not to have mentioned this," she said with growing alarm.

"Did _he_ tell you not to?" I demanded.

She nodded before adding, "He said it would alarm you, bring back bad memories. I'm sorry to have upset you My Lady," she apologised clearly chastened.

"What do you know about what happened to me Marie?" I asked her cautiously.

She smiled tentatively, "All Grisha know the story of how you were abducted on The Fold and how the Darkling spent decades searching for you. Your reappearance has brought so much joy…" She trailed off clearly pleased to share these tidyings. I remained silent, I needed to think. I needed to talk to the Darkling. I now knew why I was viewed with such respect but why had the Darkling hidden the truth? why had he invented this fairy-tale?

"Marie, I would like to meet with the Darkling," I informed her.

"Of course, he instructed that you could see him anytime, day or night!"

"Did he indeed?" I muttered under my breath as I determined to have a private word after dinner.

The Darkling didn't come to dinner. I was forced to seek him out.

* * *

 **Aleksander**

I needed time to think and I dare not face her at the dinner table. I knew Alina well enough to understand that she would not care what she said in public and I had spent too long rebuilding my reputation to allow her careless words to tear it down. I had, however, forgotten that she had once led the Second Army herself, my rooms had been her rooms and she knew every secret passage and every corridor that led here. I should not have been startled to find her glaring at me as I sat before the fire in my darkened rooms.

"Why the fairy-tale?" she demanded without any preamble.

So she knew, I had been economical with the truth, there were so few who witnessed events that day on The Fold and even fewer who would be tempted to talk of it. It had been too easy to bend the truth to the narrative I had wanted to tell. I didn't pretend I didn't know what Alina spoke of, there was no point.

"Sit," I instructed hooking another chair with my foot and pulling it towards the fire. Though she scowled at my imperative she obliged.

"Would you have me tell them that their future Queen was a traitor; that she tried to murder me?" I demanded.

"Are you insane?" she asked me incredulous.

"Are you still so naive?" I fired back, "Why did you assume that I insist you return to me?"

"Petty revenge," she muttered under her breath. I ignored the slur.

"I told you once before that I am not a monster," she huffed, I pressed on. "I allowed you to go, I allowed you to take your lover to live out your fantasy, to pretend you were meant for something other than this," I signalled around her, "and I waited, Ravka waited."

She stared at me in horror as if I were insane. I was losing my temper now and I couldn't rein it in.

"How many generations of Ravkan's have suffered whilst you played house with your Tracker?"

I was trembling with anger now as she gaped at me. She seemed stung by my words, _good_ I thought.

"We could have ended this, all it took was for you to trust me, but you couldn't could you? You made me your villain." I reminded her.

She was incensed now, I could sense her anger as it rolled from her in waves;

"You would have killed Mal," she snapped back at me, "and Nikolai too, don't deny it!"

"I _don't_ deny it," I told her, "I _hated_ Oretsev because _he_ held your heart,"

"Don't pretend you cared!" she yelled her ire rising.

"I cared," I growled back, "have you any idea how few people I would have dared to love."

* * *

 **Alina**

I was stunned into silence. He wore that face again, the face I had glimpsed so rarely; the face of the vulnerable boy, afraid and lonely. _How long had he felt this way?_ I wondered.

I didn't speak, I couldn't, tension hung thick in the air.

"Please leave me," he asked quietly.

I rose and left I couldn't stay in his presence a moment longer, my mind was in a mess and I had to think.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **I hope you are enjoying so far please review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4-A time for all things.**

 **Alina**

I couldn't sleep the Darkling's words spun around and around in my head. I always knew I had been selfish to spare Mal's life. That at that pivotal moment I could not have been any further from a saint if I had tried. So many had died to give me the chance to destroy the Darkling and to tear down the Shadow Fold and I had failed, I had crumbled. _Despise your heart_ , I had told myself over and over and yet when it came to it, I could not.

I knew that what the Darkling had said was in many ways only things he had told me before; I remembered it all; ' _I've given you power beyond your dreams and you can't wait to run off and play house for your tracker.'_ He had once told me. I knew it was true and at the time it had not seemed like a crime- so why did it seem so now? How had the Darkling made me feel like my choices had been some dereliction of duty? That I had left both him and Ravka to suffer. Why was it that _now_ I felt guilty?

I huffed and turned over in my bed yet again reminding myself most sternly that the Darkling was a master manipulator. Yet, no matter how many times I reminded myself of this, I could not shake the thought that somehow I had failed him. ' _You might make me a better man,_ ' he had told me once, _could I have? Would I have? Was that how I failed because I left him alone?_ I asked myself as I lay there in the all-encompassing darkness.

I had come to love the darkness, Mal had hated that I did, he had known that it was a remnant of the Darkling's power and that it tethered me to the raven haired man. Sometimes if Mal caught me staring blankly into the night he would ask; ' _What is it Alina do you see him?'_ I would see the terror behind his eyes that the Darkling might come to me in a vision, much as had happened before.

I knew that link remained, that I would never be free of it, but I kept faith with my husband and never pulled on that tether. I knew that for Mal this must have been torture to know that there was a part of me I could never give him. Slivers of tears came to my eyes; I still missed him so much. Then unbidden another 'truth' the Darkling had told me came to mind; _'he will never understand you,'_ I knew the Darkling had been right, the darkness was a part of me Mal had never understood.

* * *

 **Aleksander**

I wondered why I thought that, even after all this time, anything would have changed. I had offered her a place at my side once before but still she balked at the knowledge that I would have her for my Queen. She still did not understand that there could be no light without darkness, that we were destined to be together. I had been so patient, tried to be a better man, but still I felt that it might be another century or two before she might begin to understand. I wanted to lash out at something in frustration but I knew I must not. If I ever again showed that violence in my character she would _never_ accept me.

My frustration was so palpable I cried out in pain.

"Damn you Alina," I cursed, "I have waited for you so long; how much longer would you have me wait?"

First I had waited, then I had wanted, how long could I go on? Pursuit of power no longer thrilled me I was weary of it but this girl, who could be my balance, she had become an obsession and I would have her.

"But how?" I said aloud. In truth I knew the answer, time and patience, interspersed with a little mercy. Prove to her that I am better man.

Saints preserve me I needed to speak to her again.

* * *

 **Alina**

The next morning I reminded myself that I had come here with a purpose a debt to pay and I determined to speak to the Darkling again but I did not need to find him he sought me.

"Alina," he approached me at breakfast, "I would speak with you about Lantsov." I was surprised to say the least. "Will you join me for a walk by the lake?" I nodded my assent, he held out his hand to me and I reached to take it without thought but then I remembered. I dropped my hand I dare not touch him. I thought he might rage, be offended, but a half-smile passed his lips and he said nothing.

It was a beautiful morning and I remembered other walks such as this when I was young, naïve and lonely; walks when a little attention from a raven haired man had me melting in his arms. That girl was long gone I scoffed to myself. I was not so naïve as to succumb to the Darkling's charms anymore.

"It has been a long time since Nikolai Lantsov was cursed." He began, I seethed silently incanting; _whose fault is that Aleksander Morosov?_ As if reading my thought the Darkling continued, "I regret what I did now; it would have been kinder just to have killed him." I looked at him aghast no longer able to hold my tongue.

"It would have been kinder to have done neither, to have served him as your king as you did his father."

The Darkling scoffed.

"He was a reckless boy, a bastard with no true right to the crown…"

"He was a good man," I interrupted, _a better man than you,_ I added silently though I dare not say it.

"He was an ambitious man, Alina and he was my enemy."

"You made him your enemy," I snapped back turning on my heels to walk away but he wouldn't let me go. He caught my wrist as I spun away. I tried desperately to ignore the thrill of his touch as power coursed through my body.

He pulled me towards him, his face inches from my own,

" _You_ made him _my_ enemy," he spat out.

I was so overcome with rage I did not realise what I had done until I felt the tingling sting at my fingertips. I watched as paralysis seemed to take the Darkling and the crimson stain of my hand print bloomed across his face. Neither of us moved, fear spread through my psyche and I held my breath waiting to see what he might do.

* * *

 **Author's note:**

 **So it's snowing today-what better way to spend the day than watching it snow and then sharing my stories with you. Hope you are enjoying this and please review as this is a new venture for me would love to know what you think.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5-mortality**

 **Aleksander**

I struggled to contain my rage, I could feel the darkness gather around me. _I should have expected this_ I chastised myself. I should have known she would push me to the limits of my restraint. I would _not_ break. I would _not_ allow history to repeat itself I would not be her villain again.

"Never do that again," I told her my voice low with menace.

"I am a Saint I can do what I like," she mocked.

I knew she was deliberately trying my patience.

"Why are you doing this Alina?" I asked more calmly than I felt.

"Doing what?" she snapped.

"Wilfully trying my patience," I explained, "what is it you hope to achieve? Is sainthood not enough? Do you seek martyrdom too? Does it irk you that I showed you mercy?"

She laughed mirthlessly, "Is that what you called it?" she challenged, "Was it mercy to lie awake at night knowing that my friend had become a monster? Was it mercy to live knowing that I would watch my husband fade and die, that he would become dust but still I would have to return to _you_."

I sighed perhaps at last she began to understand.

"Were you not happy Alina? Did I not warn you of the boy's mortality?" I asked her. She was silent a long while before finally she conceded a single word.

"Yes."

Unsure of her meaning I walked on a few paces hoping to give her time to reflect. Eventually she caught up with me and it was I who broke the silence.

"I will keep my word but I cannot guarantee that Nikolai Lantsov is either alive or sane," I told her, "think on this Alina and if you still wish it…" I trailed off. Alina stood frozen to the spot contemplating me. Had I surprised her? It seemed that I had and as I realised this I allowed myself the smallest sliver of hope as I turned and walked away.

* * *

 **Alina**

The Darkling had changed I concluded but then I questioned this conclusion, _was it I who had changed? Now that I glimpsed my immortality did I understand him better?_ I asked myself _._ I huffed and marched away back towards the Little Palace reminding myself vociferously that the Darkling _was_ a villain. I knew that he had rightly warned me of the consequences of my longevity but he had still tried to control me for his own ends, he had still slaughtered thousands of innocents for political gain. Still his questions came back to me unbidden; _'Is sainthood not enough? Do you seek martyrdom too? Does it irk you that I showed you mercy?'_ I didn't know the answer, _had I expected him to kill me?_ It was quite clear to me that he had no intensions of doing so. I had wilfully provoked him and he had not harmed so much as a hair on my head. Could a hundred years change a man like that? A man so ancient that mortal life had seemed to mean nothing to him, a man who used others like a pawn in his games? I knew that though he had kept his word and to my surprise had offered me the choice of setting Nikolai free, I dare not trust him however long it had been. I knew it might be another hundred years, longer, before I ever could have faith in him but could Ravka wait that long. I knew he expected me to become his queen but what would he offer me now? Would he truly allow me to destroy the fold, shatter his ultimate weapon or would he seek to use me again? Could I even destroy the Shadow Fold? Was I powerful enough? There was no third amplifier now it had died with Mal. I suddenly realised that The Darkling did not know this he still believed the Firebird was Morozova's third amplifier. What would that mean for me? What would it mean if he knew? I put that thought aside and reminded myself of what I had come for; Nikolai, the Darkling's words came back to me then; ' _I cannot guarantee that Nikolai Lantsov is either alive or sane.'_ If he was not alive then I would have just to accept it, would he have aged in his cursed form before eventually withering and dying like all else I had loved? What of the other possibility that the curse had slowly driven him insane, that he had lost all sense of who or what he was and would be unrecognisable as the man who was my friend. _I had to know_ , tonight I would tell the Darkling of my decision.

* * *

 **Aleksander**

I was a fool to agree to this. It could not end well, if Lanstov was not dead he was most likely insane and what would I do with him then? What would she have me do? Then I contemplated some far worse options; what if he were both alive and sane? He was far too great a danger to be allowed to roam free.

"Damn it," I cursed. I would have to hold him a prisoner I could tell her he was dead but then again, I contemplated, _if she ever found out I had lied to her_ …I couldn't lie to her not again so what did I do?

An idea suddenly came to me; I intended her to be my consort, my queen, I would seek her counsel and defy her to make me a villain then!

* * *

I was not surprised when Alina confirmed that evening that she wished me to lift the curse.

"I have to know," she told me.

"Then we must make preparations," I told her, "come speak with me in the War Room I would have your counsel." I had to use all my restraint to prevent myself from howling in laughter at the expression that crossed her face. _Yes that's right Alina I want_ _your_ _advice,_ I told her silently fighting hard to hold back the smirk that was desperate to spread across my lips.

Recovering herself she finally replied, "Of courses," I rose to pull back her chair and lead her away.

We entered the room and settled ourselves in two high back chairs that occupied a place by the fire.

"I will lift the curse as you wish," I began, "but we must give some thought to the consequences," I began before calmly laying out the problems before us, "oh course as I mentioned before he may be dead what would he be 122, 124 years?" I asked her.

"I believe so," she confirmed as she realised there was a very real possibility that, like Orestev, Lanstov might also be dead.

"If, however, he is not, there is the very really possibility that he is insane, he may well be a danger to himself and others." I told her

"Then surely we can offer him the best of care, with time he may recover or improve?" she suggested.

"Yes," I agreed readily knowing that his insanity would mean he would require the highest level of security and that this was a solution I could agree to readily.

"But what if he is not insane? What if he is whole and well and as he was when you cursed him?"

This was the question I had not wanted her to ask, I sighed I would have to be honest;

"I cannot allow him to go free Alina, Ravka is at peace he is the acknowledge son of Alexander III his ambition would likely lead to him formulating decent." I expected her to snap at me now to angrily remind me that it was his, Lanstov's, throne I sat upon but she didn't.

"Then what will you do to him, hold prisoner for the rest of his life?" she demanded.

"What would you have me do with him?" I requested, that clearly deflated her temper somewhat.

"Could you make him your heir?" she asked me. I shook my head slowly.

"No," I told her, " aside from the fact that, unless I abacate, I will outlive him, the heir is a dangerous role. All decent gravitates towards the heir and I could not trust him even though he is your friend."

I was surprised that she instinctively grasped this. She remained pensive for a while before she offered her solution.

"He always enjoyed inventing, making things, he was fascinated by the work of the fabricators in the materialki workshops. Perhaps he could live within the Little Palace and work there?" she suggested.

I didn't immediately reply, I didn't really like the idea, there was terrible risk in keeping him alive at all but he would at least be secure.

"With an oprichniki guard for his protection and mine?" I offered.

Alina bit her lip clearly contemplating something else.

"Beyond his rank and status why did you not like him?" she asked without responding to my offer, "Beghra told me you were a brilliant boy, Nikolai was brilliant too, was it that you were too alike?"

"No," I told her simply, I didn't want to discuss this with her. She seemed to sense this but I knew she would not let it go. Eventually she would ask again but not today.

"Alright," she said after another short pause, "he will live at the Little Palace with a guard."

* * *

 **Author's note**

 **Another chapter as promised as it's nice to sit in the warmth and read on a snowy day. (Well it's snowy in my part of the world!)- please review.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6-The Truth**

 **Alina**

Of all the things the Darkling had done, nothing had shocked me more than this, not even his initial betrayal. I could not believe that he had consulted me over this. It would have been so easy for him to have lied. To have claimed Nikolai was dead, to hold the Prince captive in some dark distant tower. Yet, despite the mounting evidence that he had changed, I refused to acknowledge it. _He has to have some ulterior motive_ , I told myself, _but what?_ None of this made any sense; it would have been so much easier for him to kill Nikolai. This route risked both his own safety and his crown; _there has to be a higher prize,_ I decided, _something worth the risk_. Whatever that prize was knowledge of it eluded me.

I lay there in my darkened room and considered the Darkling. In many respects nothing had changed in a hundred years. He had not aged a day; his hair was still raven black and his face all beautiful lines and angles. He still held power jealously to him yet; he had offered to share it with me. He ruled Ravka with an iron fist but the realm was at peace and prosperous. The Darkling had become an enigma to me.

I was no longer a love sick fool so desperate to belong that I clung to any scrap of attention. I was no longer the naïve girl who saw a beautiful, powerful man and believed him benevolent, still I could no longer see the Darkling as entirely evil. There was something unsettling at the heart of my worldview, something discordant, the pieces no longer fit as they once had. What had once seemed black and white had bled to grey.

 _'_ _What does fairness have to do with any of this?'_ The Darkling had once said to me, _'The people curse my name and pray for you, but you're the one who is ready to abandon them.'_

They no longer cursed him and they had forgotten my name and I increasing felt that I had abandoned Ravka to my own selfish desire.

I knew it was reckless and that I shouldn't do it but I needed to know what he wanted from me. I reached out to the tether that bound my life to his. I felt myself pulled towards him and emerged in what I knew was the Darkling's private room.

He stood there with his back to me, hair damp and muzzled, a thin silk shirt accentuating the long lines of the muscles in his back. Something inside me twisted, I sensation I had all but forgotten.

"You could have just walked," he said.

"What and start a scandal and besmirch my honour?" I replied.

He actually chuckled.

"How can I help you Alina?" he said turning and taking two quick strides towards me.

"I want to know what you want from me." I told him

"Fine," he said, "then join me in person and I will tell you"

"The truth," I demanded.

"The truth," he agreed though he added under his breath, "Though I doubt you will believe me anyway."

I returned to my room and dressed pulling on the black _kefta_ he had given me. By the time I arrived at his room he had settled himself by the fire; two chairs and two glasses of _kvas_ waiting for me to join him. He looked more casual and relaxed than I think I had ever seen him.

As I sat down and took my first sip of my drink he began.

"I want what I have always wanted," he began and I stilled fearful that he would ask me again to help him wield the Fold as a weapon, but he went on, "for more than half a millennia I have been alone. I don't want to be alone anymore."

I didn't move I held my breath afraid to break the spell that he wove around me with his words.

"As I child all I ever wished for was a friend, but we moved constantly, my mother and I. Afraid to stay any place for too long. Even Grisha feared us and those who did not fear us coveted my strange power." He paused to take a sip of his drink, I remained still and quiet as he drifted off into memories of his past.

"My mother guarded me furiously, taught me never to touch another for as soon as they touched my skin they would know Morozova's secret. Once, I thought I had found a friend," he continued wistfully, "I had taken her hand to help her to her feet, a gallant fool, immediately she took my hand she knew what I was but she promised not to tell."

"Do you know Alina the easiest way to con a man?" he turned to me and asked, I dare not speak but shook my head, "tell him what he wants to hear. I wanted so much to believe her, to believe she was my friend and would keep my secret. Later I agreed to meet her for a moonlight swim, she was a tidemaster and she froze the water around me so I could not summon and then she took a rock to my skull."

I swallowed to hold down the sorrow that welled within me, but he had not finished his tale;

"Betrayal is a hard mistress Alina, I learnt a hard lesson that day." He was quiet for a very long time but then when I thought he would say no more he asked me a question;

"How many lifetimes do you think a man can live untouched and alone?"

I couldn't answer, my heart raced with a foolish desire to hold him in my arms, slivers of tears lined my eyes but Beghra's warning screamed at me; _'little fool,'_ she reminded and I chastised myself for allowing him to draw me in.

"I have waited for you a long, long time Alina," he finished quietly. I remained in stunned silence, despite all my caution my heart still ached for the little boy who had been alone and friendless.

* * *

 **Author's note**

 **Hope you enjoyed that-please review.-many thanks to my first anonymous reviewer hope you are still reading :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7-Nikolai**

 **Alina**

No matter how I tried to shake the thought of the betrayal the Darkling had described to me I could not manage it. I couldn't imagine how he must have suffered to be so talented, so beautiful and yet be too afraid to allow anyone near him. How long had it been before he had felt strong enough, secure enough to take the risk? I was not a fool, I knew he had had women before but was there any intimacy to what he had enjoyed? I couldn't think about it. I could not afford to pity him he would use it as a weapon against me.

* * *

 **Aleksander**

I had never told anyone that story, well not all of it, not even my mother. Why had I felt compelled to tell Alina? Was the bond that tied us so strong that it made me want to spill all my inner most secrets? I knew it wasn't; it was my old weakness, the weakness I had described to her that 'want' for friendship. Still after all these years, when I ought to know better, I sort the solace of a friend.

For a fleeting moment I thought she had felt something for me. It may have been no more than pity but it was a start. I knew she was my last chance. I also understood that I had all but ruined that chance; she didn't trust me and I could not be confident she ever would but I had meant what I had said; I could not live another life time alone. If I failed, if I could not win her to me, that would be the end for me.

I sighed and got wearily to my feet, I had a promise to keep. I was acutely aware that Nikolai Lanstov was both an opportunity and a threat to my success. Alina might thank me for bringing him back to her but I knew she had cared for him and he may take her from me. This time though I would fight for her, I would not concede as I did to Oretsev, this time Alina _would_ be mine.

* * *

 **Alina**

"Lady", I was woken suddenly by Marie's gentle voice, "the Darkling sent me for you." I slipped from my bed and wrapped a robe around myself, my loosely bound hair was in disarray but when I went to brush it Marie told me anxiously;

"There is no time my lady."

"Where are we going?" I asked her trying to shake myself alert,

"To the healers," she said calmly but my heart twisted in my chest;

"Is the Darkling hurt?" I asked trying to suppress the sudden and unexpected panic.

"No lady, it is the _Tsarevich,_ Nikolai."

 _Nikolai,_ I moved as fast as my leg would carry me anxious to find if my old friend had survived.

* * *

 **Aleksander**

Lanstov looked like a ruin of a man. His hair too long, his eyes wild and cautious, his fingertips blackened where once there had been claws. A black tracery of scars remained across his hands but he had not aged. I suspected that cleaned up he would look very much as he had once done. I knew I should feel regret for the ruination I had caused, but I envied him too greatly. He had held the love of the people and of Alina. I could not bring myself to regret anything where he was concerned and as he stood there, surrounded by a guard of _oprichniki,_ a small vicious part of me hoped he _was_ insane even though I knew it would hurt Alina.

"Lanstov," for a moment there seemed to be no recognition but then as he looked at my face and something sparked,

"So…" he coughed his voice hoarse and rusty with lack of use, he began again, "so Alina failed."

My heart sank; with so few words he had tarnished my burgeoning hope. His first thoughts were of Alina, he clearly knew my face, I suspected he was entirely lucid and that in itself posed another problem I had not considered, that he knew what I had once been. His words could be as deadly to my cause as his deeds. Again I regretted keeping my promise. As I thougth this Alina came racing through the door and hurled herself into Lanstov's arms heedless of any potential danger.

"Nikolai," she beamed at him. An agony of despair pulsed through me as I saw her in his arms. Overcome with nausea I turned and all but fled the room.

* * *

 **Alina**

"Nikolai," I screamed unable to believe my eyes. He looked as I remembered, perhaps a little more unkempt and a tracery of scars was still apparent but it was clearly Nikolai and I launched myself at him without thinking if he was a danger.

He laughed, it was the rasping sound of a man who had not used his voice in a long time but to me it was the most beautiful sound in the world. He cupped my face as if he could not believe what he saw.

"What have I missed?" he asked with all the bravado of his alter ego , Sturmhund.

In the larger picture much remained the same I realised but I would not tell him this at least not yet.

"Let's get you cleaned up then we will talk."

* * *

 **Alina**

I was so thrilled to have my friend back though scarred and dishevelled he seemed entirely himself. Over the next few hours together we spent time catching up;

"So he let you go?" Nikolai asked looking at her incredulous as she told him that the Darkling had released her to spend her life with Mal.

"Yes," I confirmed

"Why?" Nikolai asked.

Alina had asked herself that question so many time and she still didn't really know.

"I don't know," I admitted.

"He never does anything without motive," Nikolai warned.

* * *

 **Aleksander**

For the next few weeks I felt like a ghost. Alina barely spoke to me or noticed me. She was so caught up with Lanstov and slowly the resentment I had felt as she embraced him twisted in my gut and turned bitter until I could bare it no more. I had to act.

Rage was coursing through me as I saw her walk out of the great hall all smiles and happiness as if she just came from a tryst with Lanstov. Logically I had no evidence that they were intimate but jealousy whispered in my ear. 'She is his lover now' and I couldn't bear it.

I followed her out of the doors into the corridor, quickening my pace to catch her. I didn't think, before I acted. I had her pinned against the wall before I had consciously instructed my limbs to act.

"Aleksander?" she looked at me startled. Only Alina ever used my name and the way she said it calmed me. Dropping my hands I apologised;

"I'm Sorry," I told her realising that jealousy and anger would get me nowhere.

"What is it?" she asked.

I could not keep the anguish from my face. I closed my eyes in an attempt to still my fearures and felt her hand gently cup my cheek.

"What is it?" she repeated so quietly that it was more of a sigh.

"I thought we were better than this, I thought we were friends," I let out, "why have you been ignoring me?"

* * *

 **Author's note**

 **I hope you are enjoying this-please review some feedback would be wonderful.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8-Vulnerable**

 **Alina**

He looked so vulnerable; I was reminded suddenly of the little boy who thought he had a friend only to find himself betrayed. I reached out to touch his face, it was instinctive a wish to comfort and I was startled as he subtly leaned into my touch.

"I'm sorry Aleksander," I began feeling him shudder at the sound of his true name. I looked into his eyes they were beautiful but there was no light in them. I realised that he was almost devoid of all hope. A desperate man, a man whose hopelessness was capable of destroying worlds. "You're right I continued," realising suddenly that I wished to be his friend and hoping that if I held out the hand of friendship I might make of him a better man. "WE ARE better than this, may I join you later? We should talk."

I watched a tentative smile alight across his face.

"I would like that," he told me.

* * *

 **Aleksander**

She turned and walked away whilst I stood rooted to the spot both relieved and stunned by what had just passed. I was relieved that by showing restraint I had maintained my determination to 'court' Alina. I had acted without violence and I was stunned that despite everything she would now acknowledge herself my friend. I was so thrilled I grinned like an insane fool as I made my way back to my rooms. I still felt the need to know about Alina and Lanstov but I determined just to ask. I would not allow jealousy's sharp claws to get between us.

* * *

 **Alina**

"You could still be my Queen," Nikolai joked as we sat quietly in my rooms.

"But you are no longer King," I reminded him with a meek smile.

"Nor will I ever be while the Darkling lives," he responded venomously, a dark shadow passing across his countenance. I realised with apprehension that like me, Nikolai's own brush with darkness had not left him unsullied. There was a rage as the heart of Nikolai Lanstov that had not been there before, an anger, it frightened me.

* * *

I kept my promise after dinner I made my way to Aleksander's rooms. _Aleksander,_ I scoffed to myself, _when had I ceased to think of him as the Darkling?_ I supposed the moment he told me his real name. I wondered how few people had ever called him by his true name. If I understood his early life correctly, even his own mother had been forced to call him something other.

"Aleksander," I greeted him delighting in the sound of his name.

"Say it again," he asked me, as he looked up from the book he was reading by the fire.

"Aleksander," I said sweetly.

He sighed, then, as if he had read my thoughts he began;

"Until you came along I had almost forgotten my true name. it is a special part of me Alina, shared only with my true friends."

I had to fight the lump that was forming in my throat, _don't be a fool Alina_ , I told myself, _he is drawing you in. He excels at these types of games._ The trouble was that some part of me was desperate to believe in him. I knew he was weakening my resolve, that resolve I had fought so hard for to see him for the villain he was. Yet, though I knew what he was doing, I felt powerless. Powerless to stop those glimpses of the lonely, vulnerable man from slowly dissolving the barriers I had so carefully built around my heart. Inexorable, drip by drip, he was wearing away at the walls around my heart, breaking away the ice that protected the still bleeding heart that lay within.

 _STOP IT!_ I told myself as I tried to curtail my foolishness, but then he smiled…

Aleksander was Grisha, his life force feed by his almost limitless power. He glowed with the aura of that power, he was divinely beautiful and when he smiled he turned me into a fool. However, it was the sadness that really drew me to him. Like a mother wanting to comfort a child, I was drawn to the Darkling by a need to save him and I had begun by becoming his friend. A small mutinous part of me revolted against being his friend because, a traitorous part of me twisted with desire when he smiled. It told me that it was his love and passion that I wanted not his friendship. I swallowed hard fighting the blush that spread across my skin at the thought of his love. A love that could last eternally. _Could you love me Aleksander Morosov?_ I asked him silently, W _ould you selflessly offer up your life to save mine?_ I didn't know but I did know I could not bear to see him die, I would not allow Nikolai to destroy him and that thought scared me.

* * *

 **Aleksander**

"Alina," I called her name softly, she seemed to have drifted off into her own world. Snapping out of her reverie she looked up and smiled. _She does not need to summon the sun to light a room._ I thought to myself, _her smile is enough._

"So how is Lanstov?" I enquired; I didn't really wish to talk about my rival but…she didn't immediately reply and I watched as a shadow visibly passed across her face.

"What is it?" I demanded.

She sighed, "he is not …as I remember him."

I furrowed my brow at that,

"What do you mean?"

I watched as she bit down on her lip, clearly unsure if she should tell me.

"There is something other about him, something dark. It wasn't there before and," she paused, "I almost felt afraid."

I looked at her stunned, I more than anyone knew what it was to be consumed by darkness but I was surprised she said she feared him.

"Could it be," she continued, "that the _volcra_ left behind more than his visible scars?"

I didn't admit it but this notion troubled me deeply, Lanstov was already too dangerous, but I said nothing.

"I doubt it," I concluded dismissively, Alina didn't look convinced.

* * *

 **Author's notes**

 **So should Alina trust the Darkling this time? can he be the Better man? Can Nikolai be trusted?**

 **Keep reading to find out and of course-please review.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9- Changed**

 **Alina**

I watched Nikolai carefully. Outwardly he appeared much as he had once been, happy to tinker in the Fabrique workshops designing his flying machines but there was darkness at the heart of him. He was quick to anger, careless of the feelings of others-Nikolai Lanstov had changed and I suspected it was irrevocably. Most dangerous though was the simmering hatred he had for the Darkling. I could not deny that Alexander deserved it, Nokolai had suffered terrible things under his curse, but Nikolai's hatred was murderous and I feared for both their futures.

"Will you come with me?" he asked me seemly at random one evening as we lounged around in his rooms, his guards apparently out of earshot.

"Where?" I asked him a little confused, "Where are you going?"

"It may be necessary for me to leave here for a while." He told me cautiously. I realised he was sounding me out, that he could not be certain any longer where my loyalties lay.

"You do know that _he_ won't allow that, don't you?" I reminded him, Nikolai knew that he was essentially under house arrest.

"I do not need _his_ permission to move across my kingdom," he spat, his ire clearly rising. I knew this was dangerous talk. Nikolai was not Grisha and I felt the need to protect him from himself. Aleksander had promised to let him live but I knew he only tolerated Nikolai for my sake and if the Prince fermented rebellion against Aleksander, the Darkling's retribution would be swift and definitive.

"Nikolai," I counselled, "have a care, the Darkling is not hated as he once was. You cannot expect Revka to rise up in support of you. This kingdom is peaceful and prosperous, there is little stomach for dissent and," I paused loathed to say it, "the Darkling is no less powerful than he ever was."

"I do not fear him Alina," Nikolai all but snarled, "and I do not need to spill the blood of my people to take back what is mine."

I didn't know what to say, I was horrified, fearful of both of Nikolai's ambition and for his sanity.

"What do you mean?" I asked him cautiously but my question was only met with brooding silence.

We sat there together for minute; feeling increasingly ill at ease, before finally Nikolai broke.

"You have changed." He announced. It felt like a condemnation.

"It has been a hundred years Nikolai and I have more experience with eternity than I once had."

I looked up at him then for I moment I could have sworn he sneered at my but it was so fleeting I could not be sure. I decided I could bear the atmosphere between us no longer and excused myself to bed.

* * *

I lay awake in my bed torn between my loyalty to Nikolai and my desire to protect the peace and prosperity of Revka. I could not believe that I would tell the Darkling what I knew. It seemed like the final betrayal of all I had been, of everything I had fought for. _Why did you tell me Nikolai?_ I wondered to myself, _why could you not be content to live out your days free of your curse?_ But I supposed Nikolai was not that man. He had been raised to lead and he burned with the sense of injustice that Aleksander had robbed him of his birth right. I needed time to think for surely if I betrayed what I knew I would condemn my friend. _Could I live with that?_

* * *

 **Aleksander**

Alina seemed restless and Lanstov appeared venomous. _Had they had some lovers spat?_ I considered. Jealousy raged through me again at the thought of her being with him, darkness descended around Lanstov as I struggled to leash my rage.

"Aleksander!" Alina chastised me, using my name, forgetful of where we were.

"Aleksander?" Lanstov questioned, "You know his name?"

Alina blanched and looked at me apologetically.

"I'm sorry," she said looking contrite.

Lanstov looked at us, his eyes flicking from one to the other; "I see," he spat venomously throwing back his chair and storming away from the table.

She rose to follow him.

"Alina," I warned. I thought to ban her from following but knew I would need to stay my hand.

"There is something I have to tell you, she responded, but there is something I must ask him first." Alina said as she made her way after Lanstov's retreating figure leaving me alone with the darkness.

* * *

 **Alina**

"Nikolai," I called after him but he refused to acknowledge me, "Nikolai it is not what you think!"

He rounded on me, sneering, that darkness bleeding from his eyes;

"Is that what you call him as you fall apart in his arms?"

"What?" I replied almost too astonished for coherent thought.

"I've seen how he looks at you, your simpering smiles, and your blushes. No one knows his name, yet you…who wear that," he motioned to the black _kefta_ I wore, "and use his name with such familiarity…who are you Alina?" he begged, "Who have you become?"

I didn't respond, I didn't know what to say, could Nikolai not see I had taken the kefta to free him? My blood began to boil, I would not be made to feel guilty for what I had done;

"I . .friend !" I punctuated each word deliberately.

"The Alina I knew would not cosy up with the Darkling," he told me, "I don't know who you are but you are not _my_ Alina."

 _My Alina_ , the words ricocheted around my brain.

"I was never your Alina, I do not belong to you, I do not belong to the Darkling, no one owns me or tells be who should be my friend." I told him with low menace, he merely shock his head as if I was in some way deluded.

"It has been a long time, Nikolai," I told him, "we have all changed, Aleksander has changed, can you not see that?"

"You are deluded if you think he has changed Alina," Nikolai said as if I had somehow disappointed him.

"Can you not trust my judgement?" I all but begged him in what I knew was a last desperate attempt to save my friend and my friendship.

"Don't be naïve Alina, the Darkling cares for no one and nothing but himself, if you think otherwise then you are a fool."

 _That's not true_ , I reminded myself, I knew it wasn't true, I reminded myself once more of the lonely little boy who had been betrayed by his friend and I knew I could not betray him even if it cost me Nikolai's friendship.

"He does care," I told him softly.

He merely huffed and stormed away.

 **Aleksander**

I sat in the darkness, not moving, wondering if she would return or if I had lost her again? It seemed like an age before she returned her eyes downcast, her mouth set in a grim line.

"Nikolai cannot be trust. I believe he is planning to overthrow you." She stated simply, yet I knew in that simply statement there was a whole world of emotion. How much had it cost her to tell me that? I wondered, she had returned to me to save Lanstov and now she felt compelled to betray him. I rose from my seat placing my hand upon her shoulder squeezing it gently;

"I know," I told her and then there was silence.

* * *

 **Author's Note**

 **I hope you are still enjoy this- please review would love to hear your thoughts on what has happened so far.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10-Gone**

 **Alina**

I couldn't sleep had I done the right thing? I knew Nikolai was dangerous there was something wrong about him as if he was not whole but my self-recrimination was interrupted by the sound of the alarm.

"Alina," the Darkling voice called, a note of desperation in his tone.

"What is it?" I responded as I made her way to the door.

He enveloped me in a crushing embrace as soon as my door opened.

"I was afraid you had gone with him," he told me not entirely making sense.

"Who?" I questioned.

"Lanstov has fled; he used one of his flying machines to escape," he responded.

"What will you do?" I asked him urgently.

I felt his shoulders tense as he prepared to reply;

"You know what I should do Alina, you know what a danger is to me. I cannot allow Ravka to descend back into the chaos of war."

"This is my fault," I told him, "he knew I would betray him." The Darkling looked at me questioningly."I would do anything to save Ravkan life. It serves no one for us to start to kill each other."

* * *

 **Aleksander**

I couldn't believe she was still here, I was certain she would have fled alongside him. yet here she was, could I dare hope she trusted me?

"This is my fault," she had told me. I couldn't accept that; it was my fault I should never have freed him. I should not have allowed my feelings for Alina to cloud my judgement.

But she had stayed, she had chosen me or at least Ravka over Lanstov.

I snapped out of my reverie as her pleading broke into my consciousness.

" Try to bring him back alive," she said. I didn't need to say it but I wanted to be sure she understood.

"I can't promise you that Alina there is too much at stake."

"I know," she said despondently.

Satisfied she was safe I had set out to hunt Lanstov down before he could do too much damage but it was a fruitless task he had disappeared into the ether.

Days later, tried and sore I returned to the Little Palace. Alina stood, like a Queen waiting to greet me.

She caught my gaze a question on her brow. _No_ , I silently intoned, _we have not found him._

* * *

 **Alina**

I met him in the war room, he looked weary and care worn.

"What do we do now?" I asked

"We?" he said raising a brow, "am I finally to understand that you will work with me?"

"To keep Ravka at peace yes," I confirmed, "but not at any cost," I cautioned.

"What price will you be prepared to pay Alina?" he demanded, "would you be prepared to become my queen?"

"I don't see how…" I began

"it would help maintain stability, if you are with me it would counter the painful truth Lanstov will doubtless spread. I have fought long and hard for this peace. Long and hard to restore my name and reputation."

"We can none of us change our past," I told him.

"No but we can atone, I can atone, help me Alina. Stand at my side as my Queen."

I almost said yes. For a fleeting moment I was tempted to say I would but I held back still unsure of him.

"I should have known," he said bitterly without waiting for my reply, "I destroyed your trust a long time ago. I understand now Alina-it is too late. You are welcome to remain here for as long as you wish. It is your home and I will make no further demands of you."

I stood there frozen, an ever growing voice inside me was screaming, _tell him, tell him not to give up hop_ e but I couldn't break my paralysis.

"Aleksander," I finally whimpered but it was too late he had gone.

* * *

 **Aleksander**

It was a fool's hope. I had been a fool to every think I could win her back. The wounds I had made were too deep-she would never trust me. I felt morose I considered releasing my sexual tension, finding a willing girl but I knew it would be pointless. It would not be Alina.

Despite my misery I felt myself succumb to sleep, as Morpheus slowly crept across my room I felt it, the tug on our bond. I fought to ignore it but it was insistent.

"Aleksander," her voice pleaded, "be patient with me."

"Patient," I scoffed, "I have waited one hundred years and half a millennia before that. I have no patients left." I told her I knew that I would still give her a little while yet, because I was a fool but I determined it was time to make my end. I had lived too long.

* * *

 **Alina**

I could feel the sadness and despair. It rolled of him in thick waves and I was fearful of what he might do.

"He is lonely," I berated myself "and you rejected him."

But could I be his Queen? I asked myself

I knew I couldn't it would be the ultimate betrayal; Mal had fought and bled and suffered to keep me safe from the Darkling. I could not betray that love.

Saddened I prepared for bed quickly slipping into an exhausted sleep.

It seemed to be no time at all before I was startled from my rest.

"My lady," Marie's voice broke me from my slumber as she hammered on my door.

"What is it Marie?" I asked rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

"You need to come immediately, the Darkling needs your council."

"Have they found him?" I demanded.

"Who my lady?" Marie asked.

"The Tsarvich, Nikolai?"

"I do not think so," she told me.

"Then what?" I asked rhetorically neither waiting for nor expecting a response as I tore down the corridor towards the War Room.

"Not there my lady," the Darkling is in his chambers.

As I entered the Darkling's chambers he sat his head in his hands. I knew something terrible had happened.

"Is he dead?" I questioned expecting the worst.

"I wish it were that simple."

I approached him settling myself in the vacant chair beside his fire. He looked up took a long swig of his drink and announced;

"The Shadow Fold is expanding."

* * *

Author's note

i know that this fandom is not as popular as some and despite not getting much feedback I promise to complete this story. It would be great though if some of you who are reading could review.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11-Doubt**

 **Aleksander**

"What have you done?" she immediately rounded on me

"Nothing," I sought to reassure her, "I have done nothing."

For once I wasn't lying but I could see immediately that she doubted me.

"I swear it Alina, I have done nothing to make this happen," I reiterated.

"Then how can this have happened?" she demanded.

"That's just the problem Alina, I don't know," I tried to keep my voice calm but there was something of panic in my tone and she picked up on it immediately.

"You've lost control of it…no, someone else has control of it," she concluded more quickly than I expected.

I didn't respond to her instead I attempted to move the conversation on.

"I have sent scouts to investigate, but I need to find the firebird, Morozova's third amplifier-I _will_ need your help this time Alina."

I watched as she stiffened anticipating her anger.

"What sort of game are you playing Aleksander? I would not aid you to control the fold before; I will _not_ do it now."

The look of doubt and distrust in her eyes almost destroyed me.

"Alina…" I broke off as she rose from her seat.

"No!" she said emphatically and she left me.

 _Not even for Ravka?_ I asked her silently as I listened to her retreating footsteps.

* * *

 **Alina**

I couldn't help doubt him. I felt he was manipulating me again, that somehow he had manufactured a catastrophe so he would need me to help him prevent it, need me to save Ravka to save the Grisha.

"How do I know if it is real? How do I know if he is sincere?" I asked myself in frustration.

Besides it didn't matter, even if it was real, there was no third amplifier Mal was long since dead. I could do nothing. _We_ could do nothing.

Dread filled me, what if Aleksander had done this and there was no stopping it without the amplifier? Could I have avoided this if I had told him sooner.

I needed to tell him before it was too late, perhaps he could stop the expansion.

"Do I dare tell him?" I spoke out loud. Truth was I wasn't sure I was brave enough. He might well descend into a rage as he had done before.

* * *

I paced my room for hours, uncertain what to do. I missed lunch then dinner. It had grown dark when there was a hesitant knock on my door.

"Lady?" Maria's voice asked tentatively.

I opened the door a crack.

"The Darkling sent you food and enquired if you are well."

"Tell him I am quite well," she waited expectantly as if I might say more, "that is all."

Maria turned as if to leave but then she halted and said;

"My Lady forgive me if I speak out of turn but you should not judge him too harshly, it is not an easy thing to have such power and remain an innocent man." She blushed that she had dared to misspeak.

"What do you really think of the Darkling? You may speak in confidence," I reassured her.

She blushed again.

"Never mind, Goodnight Maria," I told her. It was pain to me that the Darkling had seduced this girl with his charm as he once had done to me.

I set my food aside and slumped into my seat.

Did I dare to trust him? I wondered one more time.

* * *

 **Aleksander**

I thought I was patient, I thought I could wait but as I saw the doubt appear in her eyes I realised that, even if I waited for eternity, she might never trust me. What hope I thought I had gathered to me slipped away , sand through widespread fingers. Still, I determined, I would pay my debt to Ravka. I would have the love of her people even if I failed to win Alina's love. I would destroy the shadow fold somehow, with or without Alina's help.

I would leave immediately to find the firebird.

* * *

 **Alina**

The next morning, gathering my courage I rose determined to tell the Darkling the truth about Morosova's amplifier. I was too late.

"The Darkling left late last night," I was told

"Where did he go," I demanded of the Oprichniki who guarded the entrance to the war room.

"To hunt the firebird, lady."

 _No,_ I screamed internally, I was too late.

I settled at one of the grand tables to eat amongst the other Grisha and to think. Could I catch up with him? How much of a lead would he have? My thoughts were disturbed by a commotion by the doors. In the Darkling's absence, in my black _kefta_ , I was the highest ranking Grisha presence and it was at my knees that the travel worn message finally took his ease.

"Lady, I have grave news,"

I rose and ushered the messenger, along with a few close advisors into the privacy of the war room not wishing to alarm the assembled Grisha.

As soon as the door sealed shut behind me I motioned for him to continue;

"The Tsarvich Nikolai has control of the shadow fold, he has called the volcra to him and the fold expands towards you here in the Little Palace, even as we speak. It sweeps away all in its path.

I sat down heavily, afraid that if I did not sit I might faint, _no, not this, not this Nikolai_.

The Darkling had been telling me the truth. Aleksander had been telling me the truth. I realised that as I had doubted him I had ceased to think of him by his true name. I had made him my villain again. It was contemptible of me.

"Lady?"

All eyes looked to me for direction. I would not fail Ravka this time.

"Send massagers out, use the fastest horse, summon the winds to give them speed, spare no effort. Have them tell the Darkling he must return and give him my message."

I sat as others sprang into action; gathering pen and paper I wrote my simple missive;

 _Aleksander,_

 _I'm sorry I should have trusted you, I should have told you sooner but trust me now when I tell the firebird will do you no good. I promise you my aid, we will work together for the sake of Ravka but you must return as soon as you can. The second army is in grave danger._

 _Alina._

I could only hope that it would reach him in time and he would not be too late.

* * *

 **Author's note**

 **please review.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's note**

 **No, I haven't abandoned this story never fear. I am concurrently writing another story and well…it has a wider audience so has taken my time from this. However, I did promise I would finish this and I will.**

 **Chapter 12-Foolish**

* * *

 **Alina**

I awoke to a repetitive pounding on my door.

"Lady," I heard Maria's frantic voice outside my door. Raising slowly I quickly slipped on a gown over my nightdress.

Cracking open the door a mere inch I peered bleary eyed into the darkness beyond my room. Maria's face, illuminated by a single candle was tight with fear.

"Has the Darkling returned?" I questioned assuming that was why she had called me from my bed at such an hour.

"No," her voice trembled, "Skanta Alina," she pleaded falling to her knees. "save us."

"Get up," I demanded impatiently, "what is happening?" the curt tone of my voice boarding on a sneer. The younger girl didn't respond. "Maria if you cannot tell me how can I help?" I asked more kindly.

"You need to see this for yourself." She finally managed to say as she forced herself to her feet and led the way.

I followed silently wondering what in Hell's name had her so scared. As we made it outside I pulled my gown around me more tightly trying to shield myself from the cold night. Before me, streaming into Os Alta, I saw tens of thousands of refugees. Their faces, like Maria's, tight with strain and fear. I could only assume they were fleeing the expanding shadow fold, _but so many and so soon?_ I inwardly worried. _Were they looking to me to save them? I felt overwhelmed by nausea knowing there was nothing I could do, I had no way of destroying the fold with Mal gone. Had Aleksander been right all along? Had I really been so selfish? Would Ravka be destroyed because of my selfish love?_

As I contemplated this problem I watched as Maria pointed towards the eastern horizon.

"What time is it?" I demanded, realisation dawning.

"Nine in the morning," Maria confirmed.

The sun should have risen by now, though it was winter it should be light, something dark and menacing lay on the horizon and it was blocking out the sun.

 _Aleksander,_ I reached out to him, _please we need your help._

After the first panic was over, and the swift riders had been dispatched to bring him back, I felt foolish when I realised that I could have simply called to him. So I did but he had not responded. I had tried now for three days but there was nothing, just static. _Was he blocking me? Was he so anger with me?_ _Please_ I begged him again but there was no response. _Was he ignoring me or was he…please god no!_ I couldn't even bare to give the idea thought.

I was broken from my reverie by Maria's hushed voice.

"What do we do?" she pleaded.

I didn't respond, _was this what it was like for him?_ I wondered, my thoughts drifting back to Aleksander, _to be so alone with so much expectation placed upon you?_ I looked out at the sea of people, the tsunami of humanity that pressed upon the gates of Os Alto. _If I do not help them who will?_

 _Please Aleksander where are you, help me!_ I pleaded silently once more , neither knowing if he would or could help.

* * *

 **Aleksander**

I was determined to block her out. she had made her feelings clear enough, I would not torment myself. I would do what I could to save Ravka or die trying. Either way I would not see out the year. The loneliness had worn away my will to live. _I have done enough_ I told myself, _this will be my last gift to you and Ravka,_ I silently promised. History may remember me ignominiously but…my thoughts were broken by an insistent pull on that bond, I steeled myself against it again. Perhaps I was tired or perhaps it was the distraction of the commotion outside my tent but her panicked voice suddenly formed in my mind;

'Help me,' it pleaded.

Frantic questions overwhelmed me, _was she hurt? Had she been captured? Had Lanstov taken her after all?_

Before I could think to answer myself a rider was ushered into my presence. Too exhausted to offer any salutation he merely handed me a letter. Before I opened it I knew it was from her.

 _Aleksander,_

 _I'm sorry I should have trusted you, I should have told you sooner but trust me now when I tell the firebird will do you no good. I promise you my aid, we will work together for the sake of Ravka but you must return as soon as you can. The second army is in grave danger._

 _Alina._

My mind raced with more questions as I issued ordered to pack up camp and move out.

"Bring my fastest horse," I bellowed, I would not wait for my entourage I determined to leave immediately.

 _What did she mean the firebird would do no good?_ I asked myself as I all but ran through the tent flaps to my waiting mount. If I rode hard and changed horses I could reach the little palace by night fall. _But what would greet me there?_ I hardly dare contemplate the possibility that I may have left Alina to defend the capital alone.

* * *

 **Alina**

I forced myself into action realising that if I did not lead there would be chaos and the people of Ravka would have no chance at all.

"Gather all the mirrors you can find, if you can't find them make them," she ordered. Feet scurried away from her. _All I can hope,_ she told herself as her plan continued to form in her head, _is that I can buy us all a little time._

Grisha arrived from all directions with mirrors, some gilded, clearly lifted from palace walls, others plain and homely but it mattered not. I ordered the fabricators to set out a field of mirrors. I knew I could not hold back the darkness for ever but, with the aid of the mirrors, I could amplify the light and hold it back a little longer, make my strength go further.

With my plan in place I ordered the retreat from Os Alta.

* * *

 **Author's note**

 **Will Aleksander return in time to help?**

 **Thank you to all those who have reviewed and are following this story, I'm quite invested in this story even if it is different to my usual. Some reviews and feedback would be greatly appreciated.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13- Desperation.**

 **Aleksander**

I was some five miles from Os Alta when I was forced to slow my pace, the road south was clogged with all manner of vehicles and people. I could not fight this tide of humanity and I had to slow to little more than a trot as my mare wove through the throng of people. When I could I cantered along beside the road but too frequently I was slowed by the pleading of those who, recognising me, begged for me to bring them salvation.

I had to reach her, _I'm coming,_ I silently intoned. If she heard me she did not respond. _What if I was too late?_ I continued on making the swiftest progress I could manage then as I topped the brow of a hill I could see the terror that had caused these people to flee. In the distance the shadows hung of the spires of Os Alta. Darker than thunder heads and before them a faltering beam of sun light. I realised instantly what was happening. She was holding them back; she was not fighting but managing our people's retreat.

 _God Alina, hold on,_ I sent out to her in the manner that only she could hear, _I see you now, I am coming._

 **Alina**

Normally there was no limit on sunlight but the Shadow Fold was the blackest abyss. It swallowed all light and Alina struggled to summon enough light to hold the _Volcra_ back. Even with the aid of the mirrors I felt myself weakening.

"The last transports have left the North gate," one of the _oprichniki_ reported. I nodded my acknowledgement; saving what strengthen I had for my task. I was dimly aware of a voice speaking to me;

'I'm coming," I had not the focus not respond but some small part of me wanted to tell him it was too late that by the time he reached me the city would be lost.

"Lady you need to leave." Marie's concerned tone leaked into my consciousness. I simply shock my head. No, I could not leave, this would be my end, and darkness would take me _. Perhaps it was a fitting end after all_. I mused _I had betrayed everything to the Darkness in the end_.

"Go," I ordered, the monosyllabic term all I could manage.

Sensing that she could not defy me on this the younger girl turned and fled.

 **Aleksander.**

The city was in flames as I entered the north gate, whether by accident or design its citizens had left Os Alta to burn. I traversed street after street, crossed bridges but saw no one.

"Where are you?" I screamed, not knowing to whom I was really speaking, "follow the light you fool," the voice, hers or my own? I could not tell, chimed in my head. I scoffed and brought my mare to heel, turning towards the light.

It seemed like an eternity before I reached her but it was perhaps only a matter of moments but as I saw her I began to despair. It was apparent she was weakening.

"Alexander, thank the saints," she called out breathlessly, "help me!"

I dismounted and made my way towards her my heart sinking as I realised there was nothing I could do.

Alina looked at me questioningly a look of unease in her eyes as if she thought I had come to betray her.

"Help me!" she demanded again.

I shook my head. Misunderstanding my actions, believing herself betrayed again, Alina screamed at me.

"Why?" she cried.

I came closer and took her wrist.

"What good is darkness against darkness Alina?" I asked her, willing her to see that I was powerless against the shadows that threatened to engulf her.

"But you can control it?" it was a question not a statement.

Again I shook my head.

"Lanstov, or what remains of him, controls the fold Alina."

I watched then as she fell to her knees, exhaustion and despair reducing her to tears.

"There has to be something you can do," she asked me as if I was her last and only hope. It was then, finally, that I understood what I had to do. There, as the darkness encroached , before the gates of Os Alta, at last I had my chance for redemption.

 **Alina**

"There may still be a way to destroy the Shadow Fold," Alexander told me, "you must do what you failed to do once before. Kill Morozova's heir and take his power, bring the three amplifiers together."

Aleksander turned to me then, his expression serious, the flames of the capital playing over the perfect planes of his features.

"I've spent my life searching for a way to make things right Alina. You were my first glimmer of hope in millennia, but that hope is gone now. I have nothing left to give but my life."

I looked at Aleksander horrified;

"Are you suggesting I kill you?" he nodded stoically,

"What am I Alina, why did my mother protect me so fiercely?"

"I can't," I told him, "I won't."

"I'm ready to die Alina, remember I asked you once how many lifetimes a man could live untouched and alone?" I nodded tears streaming down my face as he answered his own question, "no more than I have borne, _do it_ Alina, end this, free me and Ravka from this darkness."

He didn't wait for my reply he wrap my hand tightly around the dagger he had drawn and plunged it deep into his chest. Then he simply lay back quietly awaiting death. A small trickle of blood rolled down his chin, as a blinding wave of light flowed from me and the darkness began to fracture.

"You are not alone," I sobbed drawing him to me; he smiled at me beatifically as he slipped away.

"No," I screamed, "bring him back," desperately I tried to staunch the bleeding. Red robbed corpalnaki appeared as if from nowhere and began efficiently to work on him, Marie pulled me aside.

"Lady come away," she told me gently but I would not I scrambled back towards him,

"You will not leave me alone, Aleksander Morosova, you will not. I will be your Queen. We will rule together. You _will_ come back to me!" I yelled, but he did not hear me, he did not stir. Something inside me pulled taut and strained as if it might break. The tether, he was still tethered to me, the stag's life force that had linked us together still held and I would not let it go. I pulled on that tether, "come back to me," I chanted like a mantra, "come back."

My despair turned to anger,

"So this is your revenge," I raved at him, "condemn me to eternity alone."

* * *

 **Author's note**

 **I know it's been a long time coming but I haven't abandoned the story and hope to update again soon.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14-Thethered**

 **Alina**

He gave a sudden rasping breath, and then another and another. I hardly dare hope, the corparlki nodded his head, yes they had him, and yes he was back. I turned aside and wept.

They took us from the ruins of what had been Os Alta and placed us in the Darkling's black carriage. He was unconscious but he was alive and his breathing was still steady. With great speed the team of black horses carried us the short distance back towards the Little Palace. They drove as if they knew their master's life depended on it.

Finally we arrived at the little palace the sun breaking through the pails of smoke. Healers rushed to his aid and carried him into his room. There was no one who could persuade me to leave his side. I feared that if I strayed he would slip away. That if I stretch the bond still further by leaving his side it would snap.

So I sat by his bedside, day and night.

I must have fallen asleep; at some point someone had lifted me on to the Darkling's bed and covered me with a woollen throw. Unconsciously I had sought his warmth. I awoke as I felt his shoulder flex beneath me and his hand raise to stroke my hair. Gently, he soothed my loosened tresses and whispered into my hair as he wrapped his arms tightly around me;

"I could not leave you to eternity alone."

 **Alexander**

I could not believe that she had stayed with me. When I awoke to find her resting, her head upon my shoulder I considered if I might actually be dead. That she would knowingly lay in my arms seemed like a dream. I smoothed her hair, the scent of her soothing me and I whispered to her the answer to the last words I had heard;

"I could not leave you to eternity alone,"

Even if this was the afterlife I was here with her. Alina stirred then, her eyes opening to sleepy slits. I watched as she focused, as the smile bloomed on her face;

"You're awake," she murmured.

I couldn't answer but I knew that if this was some sort of dream, some vision of the afterlife I would relish it to the full and I bent to capture those ravishing lips risking that she would respond to me rather than reject me.

She softened beneath me as if she were melting. _Could it be true, would she allow be to make love to her?_ I wondered in a haze of rising desire. I didn't care if this was real or hallucination I was done holding back. I deepened the kiss pouring all my longing into it and then…she sighed.

The sound was a once both the most sensual and the most glorious sound I had ever heard. My hands became ravenous, caressing her with soft wisps of darkness. I looked into her eyes determined that she would look at me as I made love to her, she would have no doubts there would be no fantasy of lovers past, that was when I saw it; the insatiable well of longing that burned within her, longing for me and I lost control determined that she would break sighing my name.

 **Alina**

I had made love to Mal a thousand times, it had always been beautiful but it had never been like this. The connection, that tethered me to Aleksander, amplified every touch, not only did I feel my own desire but I felt his too and as he entered me I drowned in his deep seated longing. Gasping , throwing back my head. I thought I might die of this, this desire, this wanting him.

I grasped his hands as he moved within me, watched as the light began to pulse from within me, watched as it swarmed with his darkness. I felt ravenous like my longing for him could never be stated. I did not know how much of the need I felt was my own and how much of it was his. My brain began to fracture as he increased his pace and as I climaxed the light inside me went supernova a blinding wave that seared its way across our skin and was then smothered by his darkness as he followed me into the abyss.

Panting I clung to him and silently promised; _I will never leave you Aleksander Morosov, even when I am dust I will cling to what remains of you, you will never be alone again._

The Girl looked at the Raven haired boy and for the first time she saw light in his eyes. He smiled and pulled her closer. The Brilliant Boy had waited more than half a millennia; alone and unloved until now, for how could anyone love something they could not touch. Now, his heart, warmed by her sunlight, finally felt love and the Brilliant Boy cried.

The End

* * *

Author's note

i hope you enjoyed this. it was written prior to the publication of "king of Scars' so may be as a result out of canon.

please review


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